I'd spoken with a lady yesterday. I'm not sure what makes her kind, do I mean that I see this lady as a kind woman, or that I believe her to be kind, or that she just is kind and i'm not able to change that about her. It would be nice to understand this, maybe bundle it up somehow so I could be a bit more like that. Maybe it is just in each action that she can, she smiles, and shares kindness - a kind of warmth that says "You're great!" or even just that there is no expectation for anything else. I find myself often in two layers when wondering about this. That I notice someone is kind, then apply my understanding of what that kindness is. Like "when someone is kind they do these things". It's a very rigid being that can be spotted in me.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but there can be a lot of push from myself to be kind. Sometimes too much. On one side of me, I'll be scrambling over myself to put on what feels like a show, thinking a lot about how can I be kind now Another side watches and appreciates.

There are many kind people in this world. I hope they are well and that they don't spend the time I do on themselves. That they give themselves the kindness i've seen shared with others.

on the word kind

I'm not so sure about relativism. There is without doubt the idea that words have unique meaning to people, or that we can sometimes make the fun mistake of confusing one words meaning with another.

How can we be sure that a word means the same thing to another when it all breaks down into further words?

I can attest at least, that the process of sketching the edges to ideas through words isnt linear. That We can sketch the outlines of thought from one angle only to watch it spin and require us to draw it again from another. That as an observer we might only see it as 2 dimensional, transferring the thoughts of this apple through words, but that there will always be more behind it.

I've tried recently to listen to people on more than one dimension. I don't mean to say i'm doing something unique, don't get me wrong. I think some people would just call this empathy, but it's definetly a practice to be had! Is this something you're doing?

I dislike words sometimes because of this, not that they themselves have done anything to deserve it. Though it is how i've felt. I pick the wrong ones and i've upset people. In a truthful line of questioning, I wonder more if its that the meaning i'm sketching just isn't one people want to hear.

Is that kindness? The truth people want to hear?

I've been playing a small game here. The idea that anything can be kind allows me to skip past whether something is good or bad, and unfortunately again I do believe things can be good and bad. That they exist before we label them, but that it more often than not, in some small ways, is both at the same time. Maybe most people would just pick one thing. Death is bad, for example. Maybe that is a universal truth. To people.

Others might linger on it - but without death we'd run out of life they could say.